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Feeling Rejuvenated

Friday, July 10th, 2009 by Alyice

Since the beginning of May, I had essentially quit working. Sure, I did the extreme minimal to keep what is left of my writing business afloat—thanks to our current economic situation, but that’s it. I hadn’t sought new freelance writing gigs. I hadn’t marketed my online magazine, The Dabbling Mum. As for my career as an artist, there has been absolutely no marketing, no new projects in the works, no techniques practiced, and no books read. Anything art-related has been limited to playing with photographs in Paint Shop Pro X2 and uploading to Zazzle.

And I have to tell you that it was the best decision I could have made for myself.

I had been burning the lamp at both ends since 2001, adding more and more to my plate with each passing year and never giving myself a break—never fully appreciating what I had accomplished. Never truly seeing what was right in front of me; always seeking to be better, to do better, to reach yet another goal and all the while trying to find some type of balance.

That balance, however, always came with a cost because it was always a balance between work and family. There was never any “me” time and there was definitely never any “down” time. I suppose it didn’t help that I was a control freak who liked to make sure that everyone’s lives were running as smoothly as possible, even if that meant I went without.

Now, I know that not everyone can manage to take two months off from work—and truth-be-told, we really couldn’t afford it either. But after battling a very strenuous year in our personal lives, it was truly essential to my mental well-being—and quite possibly, my physical well-being, too.

I knew that if I was going to move forward with my life and move beyond the depression, I was going to have to just stop and “rest”. So I talked it over with my husband and got his blessing.

It wasn’t a difficult decision considering my business had nearly tanked due to the economy and local jobs are scarce. I had one of two choices: use the time to re-coop or stress myself out trying to save a dying business. It was also no surprise when my husband said, “Do what you need to do to feel better. Do what you need to do to find some peace. We’ll find a way to make it work, we always do.” We’ve always supported each other when life altering changes were necessary for our own, personal well-beings.

At first, doing absolutely nothing was hard. I felt guilty for not working and found myself applying for jobs I knew I’d hate—just to have a steady paycheck again and because that’s all there was in the area—and feeling extreme relief when they filled the spot without ever calling me in for an interview. Then I found myself apologizing every time there wasn’t much left after we paid the bills. Then I found myself downsizing our “junk” and feeling such peace about the process that I soon began restructuring and reorganizing our home, and two months later I’m still at it—husband’s even gotten in on the act of unloading our “junk” via Craigslist, “we buy used” shops, and garage sales.

In the two months that I haven’t worked, I’ve discovered that:

asking for help is not a sign of weakness,
life goes on whether you participate in it or not,
most “urgent” or “do now” tasks on a to do list can wait,
it is vitally important that we have down time to do absolutely nothing,
it’s not the end of the world if everything isn’t put back in its proper place or there’s a load of laundry waiting to be folded,
we waste tons of money buying crap we’ll only use once simply because an ad got the better of us or it looked cool or it filled a void at the time,
expecting too much of ourselves can cause us to be too uptight and no fun to be around, and
knowing success doesn’t always come in dollars and cents is hard to believe when the world keeps cramming that point down our throats.

And I have learned that happiness truly does come from within.

As much as we’d like to believe that happiness comes from the people that surround us, a location, a job, material possessions, or even wealth, it doesn’t. True happiness comes from how we perceive things. It’s not circumstantial. It’s how we choose to live our lives despite the circumstances. It’s about finding the blessings that surround us each and every day and acknowledging them. It’s about appreciating the here and now and not about looking to the future or living in the past. It’s about sharing the load with those that matter most, and not taking on the world alone. It’s about realizing that perfectionism is overrated and success truly is in the “eye of the beholder” and it’s time we stop letting outside forces dictate otherwise.

For the first time in over a year, I feel as though I can breathe again and I have no intention of jumping back into my old way of life. I like the freedom that comes from living without so many high expectations and I hope that in time I will grow to truly love myself again.

Give thanks…

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Thanks For Digital Darkrooms

Monday, June 8th, 2009 by Alyice

When I decided to get more serious with my photography a few years back, I became very disillusioned with the entire industry. I could not believe that many of the natural landscapes, that had literally captivated my soul, were actually altered in a digital darkroom or that so many people were airbrushed, touched-up, and given digital plastic surgery. And yet, it gave me hope!

I may never be a master photographer, but thanks to programs like Paint Shop Pro® and Photoshop®, I can take ordinary looking photographs—and even goof-ups—and turn them into beautiful works of art.

Take this Zebra for instance. I absolutely love the digital alteration but was very disappointed in the original photograph.

You see, I was visiting a small, family-owned, zoo in Wisconsin a month ago when I came across two beautiful zebras. They were full of energy and I desperately wanted to capture that energy on film. There was just one problem: they were surrounded by ugly chain-link fencing. After observing the zebras for awhile, I realized that the only clear shot I had was a tiny peep hole in the barn door. Looking through my camera’s lens, I knew the shot wasn’t going to be perfect but I had high hopes that I could manipulate it digitally.

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Upon downloading the images, however, I was really disappointed. The image wasn’t nearly as clear as I had hoped, I had cut off the zebras’ behinds, they were further away than I anticipated, and there were two golfers in the background that I hadn’t noticed before.

And yet, with a little digital magic, I believed I could salvage part of the photo so I opened up Paint Shop Pro® and got to work. First, I cropped out the part that I felt was worth salvaging, then I removed the digital camera noise, clarified the image, and played with the contrast. Once the colors were pleasing to the eye, I jumped over to the “effects” area where I played with various textures and effects until I was able to create something I could use.

Now, I have the perfect image for handmade greeting cards—as it only measures 2.2 x 2.9 inches. And, with a little more digital manipulation, I can also create an inchie for an altered trading card!

Give thanks…

Disclosure: I paid for the product mentioned here. This is “my opinion”. It is not an endorsement, express or implied. I was not paid to give a positive review.

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Thanks For Teaching Me Family Time

Monday, June 1st, 2009 by Alyice

I grew up with a mother who spent most of her energy working, partying, and keeping my younger sister out of trouble. I can honestly say that I do not recall ever having any real “family time”. Heated family discussions, yes; a rare one-on-one moment with my mom, yes; but time spent engaging in fun activities together—where we did more laughing than arguing, where we weren’t rushed or yelled at or fighting, where it was about enjoying each other’s company and not one-upmanship, not so much.

So when I got married, that’s one of the things I really wanted with my family—time spent enjoying each other’s company. There was just one catch. I had no clue how to do that or how it worked. Thankfully, my husband did!

First, my husband assured me that most families fought and that bickering was normal. “The difference,” he said, “is that unlike your family it is often balanced with a good, healthy dose of laughter and bonding.”

Second, my husband schooled me in what it was like to spend time with each other outside of chores and running errands. We started small, by taking the kids to the park—without modern day distractions it was easy to focus solely on the kids. Then we moved up to more interesting activities like amusement parks, museums (which my husband hated and I loved so we compromised and went to interactive museums), bike riding, hiking, and day trips to new locations. Next, we conquered the hardest—and most difficult task, yet—playing board games.

You would have thought that board games would have been the easiest thing to learn how to do with my kids but being surrounded by a house filled with “motherly” and “wifely” duties made it damn near impossible for me to sit down for long periods of time. I didn’t understand the whole competition factor and I really hated it when people got loud during a game.

Having grown up in a house where loudness and arguing was often associated with something bad and competition was for gaining mom’s love, I can honestly say that games just weren’t at the top of my list as “fun activities”. My husband, however, assured me that the loudness was simply excitement and that the arguing wasn’t really anger but more of a love for the game. “And as for competition,” he said. “There’s a healthy dose of competition, like playing sports or games, that makes you stronger and better fit to compete in the world and then there is an unhealthy dose of competition, like competing for someone’s love. When the excitement of the game freaks you out, just remember that it’s healthy as long as everyone is laughing and having fun.”

Today, I still prefer hanging out outdoors over indoor games, hate shopping with a passion, and find excitement in discovering and exploring new locations. But more importantly, I thrive on “family time” and miss it when life gets too hectic or the kids get in one of their “teen moods”.

I don’t care if it’s a simple conversation around a meal, a walk around town, a game of cards, or spending the day together in a new location as long as we are doing it together. I don’t even care if it’s just 30 minutes out of the day, or five luxurious hours, as long as it’s time spent together—time building close family bonds and time that makes life more fun!

Give thanks…

Posted in It's Gratitude, Dude! | 3 Comments »

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AlyiceEdrich.com
I'm a mixed media artist and freelance writer. Need web content? Want to commission or license art? Let's Talk.

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