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Random Acts Of Kindness

Monday, September 14th, 2009 by Alyice

When I was a young gal, my mother gave me a beautiful sapphire ring. I wore it until after the birth of my first child. The weight gain didn’t disappear and the ring no longer fit.

Ten years, or so, later, I met a woman online named Anna. She and her husband had been going through a rough patch financially due to medical/health problems and after a few years of marriage, she still didn’t have a wedding ring. She didn’t even have an engagement ring.

She loved her husband and understood that a ring was merely a possession, but a part of her longed for a wedding ring; longed for a way to silently let the world know that she was taken—that someone loved her enough to commit his life to her.

I remember looking down at my wedding ring; a simple crown with a tiny diamond. It was all we could afford at the time but I loved my ring. I remember thinking how delicate and unique and beautiful it was and how it was the only piece of jewelry that has ever stayed on my body for more than a few hours a day.

Something inside me screamed, “She needs a wedding ring!”

So I emailed her, asked for her address, and sent the sapphire ring in the mail. I didn’t even ask the size of her finger as I wanted it to be a surprise. Along with the ring was a note that asked one thing, “that her husband would put the ring on her finger.” I just knew my ring was meant to be her wedding ring.

When the ring arrived, she read the note to her husband. With tears in both their eyes, he placed the ring on her finger and to our surprise, the ring fit! The best part is that she wasn’t a diamond kind-of-gal and felt the sapphire really fit her personality.

Over the years, I’ve committed similar acts of kindness—clothes and food for the homeless, Christmas presents for struggling families, shoes for my son’s classmate who wore holes in the soles, free babysitting services for single parents, food for strangers mourning the loss of a loved one, household items and furniture to those starting a new life, handmade gifts for anyone who needed a little cheering up or kindness in their lives, and yes, even shelter to a young couple who found themselves homeless.

And not once have I asked for something in return. I simply completed these acts of kindness because I truly believed it was the “right thing to do”. I felt a nudge on my heart to reach out and I did. And every time I reached out, I felt blessed—even if the recipient wasn’t gracious in the receiving.

The truth is that people, by nature, aren’t gracious in receiving help—or even gifts for that matter. It hurts the pride.

So with some people, they lash out at you and act like you are trying to say you’re better than they are. And other people, as grateful as they are, simply don’t know how to accept something without feeling guilty for not being able to return the favor, or ashamed for being in that position in the first place.

But then there are those recipients who simply rejoice at the fact that they were not forgotten and show their appreciation with smiles and words of thanksgiving. And it’s those people that keep you sharing of yourself and your possessions. Because it’s those people who remind you that you are doing more than sharing an object or a meal, you are giving them hope. You are reminding them that they matter, that they are not forgotten, that someone cares.

It’s not always easy listening to the call. There are times when I’d rather spend the money and/or energy elsewhere; when I’d rather do for myself than for others; when I long for just one “thank you” or “nice job” or even returned favor.

But then I am taken back to the day my daughter died and how so many random acts of kindness were bestowed upon me and my family by complete strangers—even though we, ourselves, couldn’t be gracious or thankful— and how much it helped us heal. If it weren’t for all those people supporting us, nurturing us, lifting us up in prayer, providing meals, sending “we have not forgotten” cards, and showering us with kindness, we would not have survived the ordeal and our family would not be as strong as it is today. You could even say that had they not instilled hope in us, our family would’ve broken up.

Here’s the thing: random acts of kindness aren’t meant to be repaid by the recipient. It’s sort of a “pay it forward” kind of thing. And they must be disbursed to both strangers and loved ones—whether in need or not. And you can choose to do it secretively or openly, it doesn’t really matter.

What matters is that every random act of kindness you provide makes the world a better place. So go forth and create a chain reaction—go forth and make the world a kinder, gentler, less lonely place to live.

Give thanks…

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Thanks For Calling Me Auntie

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009 by Alyice

When I was just 11 years old, my best friend had her first baby—at the age of 16. Neither of us knew anything about taking care of a child back then, but watching my friend nurture and love her little girl convinced me that no matter how difficult life got, if you loved your children enough anything was possible.

As time progressed, I became the resident babysitter. I proudly took my honorary niece with me everywhere I went and when people asked if she was my child (not uncommon when you live in the projects), I’d look them in the eye and say, “Are you crazy?! I’m just 11 years old!”

But secretly, deep down inside, I felt joy in knowing that our interaction with one another showed a bond that transcended both age and blood. I loved that little girl as if she was my own and I took great pride in knowing that her mother entrusted her in my care.

Then one day, her mother moved away and we lost contact with one another. It would be five years before we got in touch again, and another four years before we were able to truly reconnect. Yet, I never stopped thinking of them as family—her mother as my big sister, she as my niece, and her brother as my nephew. They were, for all intensive purposes, my family.

Today, we keep in touch via email and Facebook. It’s not the same as face-to-face interaction, but it sure beats the alternative. And yes, she still calls me “auntie” and it’s a title I wear proudly!

I still cannot believe she is old enough to have children of her own, old enough to be called a mother herself. Heck, I can’t believe I am old enough to have a great niece and nephew—but as you can see by the photo on the jar above, it’s true!

So Mina, my sweet, beautiful, bundle of joy, I thank you for showing me how to love unconditionally—for giving me the practice I needed to become the mother I am to my own children.

Give thanks…

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Thanks For Hope

Monday, September 7th, 2009 by Alyice

On Sept. 4, 2009, the U.S. Labor Department announced that since the recession “officially” started back in December of 2007, 14.9 million Americans have become unemployed with more expected before our economy bounces back.

I have been reluctant to admit this publicly, but I have been one of those Americans affected by the economy—and it stings. In an effort to “trim the fat” companies have started doing more things “in house” and letting go of anything that doesn’t help bring an immediate profit or somehow contribute to their immediate needs—like writing services and ad revenues. On top of that, the consumers who would normally purchase my e-books and crafts haven’t had the surplus money to do so. I’ve been struggling to keep my business afloat and feeling like a failure every step of the way.

Nothing stings more than working hard to prove yourself in the industry only to feel like you’re starting all over again. Nothing stings more than bringing in a steady income only to find yourself on the “hit and miss” end of things again. And nothing stings more than applying for regular jobs in your area only to be turned down again and again—talk about a blow to your self-esteem.

I’ve been beating myself up; constantly asking myself questions like “What more could I do?”, “What could I change?”, “What could I improve?” and of course, “What’s wrong with me?” For as long as the recession has been around, I’ve watched my business decline at a steady and alarming rate and nothing I’ve done to change the outcome has helped.

You’d think that knowing others in the industry—those with multi-million dollar budgets and experts on staff—haven’t been able to beat the recession would make it easier for me to accept the fact that “it’s not me, it’s the economy”. But it hasn’t.

On some level, I realize that while I will always have room to improve and grow, the real problem lies not in my talents, my determination, or my work ethics but in the reality of our economy. On some level, I know that the only way to survive this recession is to keep pushing forward, to not give up hope, and to believe that things will get better. But when you’re constantly beating your head against the wall, fighting for the crumbs, it’s tough.

I’m a worker-bee. I like to work. I enjoy helping others. I get pleasure from knowing that, in some small way, something I’ve worked hard on has helped another’s business improve and grow. I get pleasure in knowing that something I created with my own two hands adorns the home of another—and brings joy to the recipient. And I get pleasure in knowing that the money I’ve earned has made life easier for my husband and my kids.

And yet, despite the harsh reality of my business’ profit and loss statement, or my apparent unemployability in the traditional job market, I have not given up hope. Hope sustains me. Hope carries me. Hope gives me strength. Hope says that all is not lost. Hope says that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Hope says that we will overcome this recession and be stronger and better because of it.

So today, I am grateful for the hope that still lives in me—and in you.

Give thanks…

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AlyiceEdrich.com
I'm a mixed media artist and freelance writer. Need web content? Want to commission or license art? Let's Talk.

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