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Happy Thanksgiving America

Thursday, November 27th, 2008 by Alyice

Happy Turkey Day America! I hope you’re having a fantastic holiday, surrounded by loved ones, good food, and of course, The Macy’s Day Parade!

When I was a little girl, I spent the day sitting in front of our television set watching The Macy’s Day Parade while my single mom busied herself in the kitchen. She despised help on this day because everything had to be “just right” so I spent the day watching the parade. Truthfully, I liked watching the parade. It was exciting to me. I’d watch for specific floats to appear then holler at her to come see them. She’d stop what she was doing, come into the living room, and watch the float until it passed by.

To this day, one of my “BUCKET LIST” to-dos is to attend The Macy’s Day Parade in person.

Today, on this very special day in America, I am thankful for:

the good times I had with my mother,
the relationship I share with my husband of 18 years,
the bonds I share with my children,
the freedom to choose what I do for a living,
the freedom to make bad choices,
the freedom to make good choices,
the freedom to drive the highways at all hours of the day or night,
the freedom to shop at a store that’s open 24 hours a day/7 days a week,
the freedom to attend social gathering in public,
the freedom to attend church,
the freedom of speech, and
the freedoms we all possess simply by living in THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

What are you thankful for?

Give thanks…

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Thanks For The Season

Monday, November 24th, 2008 by Alyice

Last Monday I mentioned having a hard time letting go of the people I love, but what I didn’t mention was how I have a hard time letting go of anyone in my life—acquaintances, business relations, co-workers, and people I’ve built bonds with during mutual activities or group sessions.

How do you say good-bye to people who’ve shared so much of your life—whether it was for long hours during short periods of time or short minutes during long periods of time or a combination of both? How do you just “let go” and move on with your life? That’s something I’ve never been good with.

One day, during a Bible study, I was taught the importance of seasonal friendships—the type of friendships that aren’t meant to last forever; the type of friendships that are meant to last a period or season of your life and no more and it helped put things into perspective. I was taught that just because someone wasn’t meant to be in your life forever doesn’t mean that the relationship was less important or less significant—in fact, it could have been quite significant and important, even life altering. It just wasn’t meant to be more than that—to continue.

I’ve had several of these types of people enter and leave my life over the years; people who’ve stayed around for only a short period of time (a day, a month, or a year) but have changed my life forever—some for the better, some not so much. And I’ve had people who’ve stayed much longer—often entering, leaving, and re-entering my life at different periods in my life.

I haven’t always been able to appreciate or say “thank you” to these seasonal friendships; partly because I didn’t understand, partly because they ended too soon or without warning, and partly because I couldn’t handle saying good-bye. So I’d like to do that now.

Thank you for being there for me and allowing me to be there for you. Thank you for sharing in life’s joys, thank you for sharing the normalcy of life with me, thank you for helping me through some very difficult times in my life, and thanks for allowing me to help you through yours.

Though the friendships have ended, the memories and the lessons learned remain.

Give thanks…

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Thanks For The Friendship

Tuesday, November 18th, 2008 by Alyice

Over the years I have had many friends, some good, some bad. All of them have taught me something about myself, about life, and about the right and the wrong way to treat people. All of them have made me the person I am today and for that, I am grateful.

It’s been hard to let go of the good friends, especially when the things that pulled us apart were priority changes, distance, and job relocations. You’d think with modern technologies like email, blogs, text messaging, and cell phones, that we would have been able to find a way to stay connected—but sometimes, there just isn’t enough time in the day to keep the distance or busyness of life from deteriorating friendships.

I’ve always had a hard time letting go of the people I love—of watching them move on without me. Not because I was jealous or envious or wanted them to fail, but because I feared being abandoned; of being left behind. I used to personalize every termination—even if it wasn’t anyone’s fault.

Then I met someone who showed me what it means to be a friend that sticks around—through thick and thin, through ups and downs, through quarrels and squabbles, and through mood swing after mood swing. And for that, I’ll be forever and eternally grateful.

And that person is Ms. Tina L. Miller. We first met online, in a writers’ forum. Then, when it was time for my family to move out of state she helped my family find a home in her home state of Wisconsin. The ironic part is that while we had bonded, we still had personal guards up that sometimes made our friendship difficult to bare. But there was a connection there that could not be denied and slowly we learned to trust each other.

Over the next three and a half years we had coffee dates, picture-scouting dates, shopping dates, and brain-storming dates. We even got our families together for picnics, barbecues, and game nights. And soon, we became “family”.

It wasn’t always easy. There were times when we didn’t understand each other or each other’s motives. There were times that we pushed each other away instead of opening up and being real about our circumstances. But mostly, we learned to accept each other “as is”.

When my family moved out of the state five years ago I thought it would be the end of our friendship and I mourned that loss by putting up a wall. I tried to distance myself from her emotionally, but she saw right through me. She realized that I had abandonment issues and she fought through them.

She told me that long-distance friendships could work and to prove it she’s made it a priority to keep our friendship alive through phone calls, emails, letters, note cards, and personal visits. So when we do get in touch, like today, it feels like no time has passed at all, like we’re just next door.

She genuinely seems to care about what is going on in my life and listens and talks and shares her life with me. There’s no prying. There’s no feeling like she’s holding back. There’s no feeling like I’m less than I am. There’s no need to try to be something I’m not. And I love it.

We talked on the phone for over an hour this evening and the time simply flew by. I loved every minute of it, and so did she. In fact, it made me wish May was here already—so I could watch her walk down the aisle with her husband-to-be. And, like her, it had me wishing we could be sitting under the tree in her yard sharing a cup of coffee and brainstorming about how we’re going to grow our businesses and what we’re going to do when the weather warms up.

Give thanks…

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