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Let Art Be Your Therapy

Thursday, September 11th, 2008 by Alyice

Do you ever just create for the sake of creating? Do you ever just do something artistic because it’s relaxing, fun, or therapeutic? Or must you, like myself, have a purpose for the things you do?

Up until three weeks ago, I couldn’t see myself doing anything if there wasn’t an end result to be obtained. Everything I did was basically mapped out in my head and the only luxury I had was to sit comatose in front of the television after a long and exhausting day of going, going, going. Even my art had a purpose—create something for a specific person in mind.

The problem with this way of living is that we’re not really living. We simply go about life on auto-drive as we lose ourselves in a sea of “doing”. And if we’re not careful it will kill us—maybe not physically, but definitely emotionally and spiritually.

It took me three weeks to break my “always on the go” habit. Three weeks of pure torture as I forced myself to do less and less each day until I could actually sit down and do nothing without feeling regret, remorse, or guilt.

And you know what happened? Nothing. The world did not end because I cut back on all that doing. Sure our finances got a little tighter and the family has had to help out around the house more and authors have had to find other people to review their books, but my family didn’t suffer neglect and my business did not disappear.

In fact, quite the opposite has happened. I am happier and more relaxed than I have been in years and because of how much better I feel emotionally, certain aspects of our family life and my marriage is better than it has been in years. There’s a calm that’s come over the family—either that or I’m just so relaxed that it feels more peaceful. Either way it’s taught me the importance of making time each day to just play.

That’s why starting next week I’m devoting one hour a day for Creative Play: no agenda, no guilt, and no excuses. The hour may be different each day, but it will be one hour none-the-less. And there will be no more excuses about how busy my life is or how important it is that I complete this, that, or the other. I will simple devote one hour to being spontaneous and expressive with my art supplies. I’ll sit down and let my muse take me wherever it wants to go.

What about you? Will you allow your creative side a little room to breathe? Will you allow your inner emotions a voice?

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We Make Ourselves…

Friday, August 8th, 2008 by Alyice

“We either make ourselves miserable
or we make ourselves strong.
The amount of work is the same.”
~ Carlos Castañeda

I saw this quote on another blog. It was left as “comfort” for another blogger who was struggling with some personal issues of her own and feeling quite overwhelmed. The minute I read it, it just spoke to me.

Why is it that we are so afraid to walk away from something successful (or comfortable) in order to pursue other things? Why is that we find it difficult to give up a “good thing”—even though it’s worn us down or we’ve outgrown it?

Nearly ten years ago my husband and I had a heart-to-heart about his profession at the time. He loved what he did, but the constant overtime was taking its toll on his body and his spirit. He longed to return to school full-time but knew it couldn’t happen with his current workload. We discussed the option of him quitting his job and me supporting the family until he graduated. We agreed that after graduation, I could return to full-time housewife/mommy and part-time business woman.

For my husband, it was a difficult decision. He would be leaving a job that paid handsomely, had wonderful benefits, and a great retirement package. The decision tormented him day and night—even leaving him with a few panic attacks. And it didn’t help that everyone around us seemed shocked and afraid for us.

But if you could see the excitement when he talked about going back to school and learning a new profession, you’d know why it was an easy decision for me. To make the transition easier for him, I located every college in the United States that offered the program he wanted to return to school for and told him to pick a college based on academics and programs—not location.

Several months later we sold our home, packed up the kids, and moved all the way across the United States. It was scary and exciting all at the same time. Yet, we made it work.

Fast-forward to today. I never did quit working once my husband got settled into his new career. I never did go back to our original agreement.

I could give a million reasons why, but it all boils down to this: I worked hard to build a business that allowed me the flexibility of being there for my kids when they needed me and it felt great to see the fruits of my labor. It also felt great to know that I could make something out of nothing and it be something worthy of praise—especially since I grew up in a household where praises weren’t easy to come by.

You could even say that I couldn’t close up shop for fear of looking like a failure. I didn’t want people thinking I couldn’t make it because I did make it. I was making it. I just wanted something else. I was ready for something different and I didn’t know how to let it go or cut back so that I could have that “something else”.

Sadly, my priorities got all mixed up and everything I held dear seemed to be put on the back burner while something I never considered all that important began to take precedence in my life.

And so an internal battle pursued.

My heart said one thing and my mind said another. “On the one hand we need the money,” I’d reason. “On the other hand, I could really use more free time, less responsibility, and the ability to give my husband and the kids more undivided attention,” I’d say. “I’m really ready to try something new and different. I’d like to find time for photography and art. And it would be fun to be able to start writing more instead of putting so much time and effort into marketing, promoting, and running the magazine,” I’d whine. I kept my husband up many nights, over the past two years, as I teetered from one train of thought to the next—always indecisive and always overwhelmed.

I felt God calling me back to a lifestyle I once held so dear that I woke up every day feeling blessed to be a part of. But I refused to listen.

I felt like I was caught between a rock and a hard place. What was the mature thing to do? What was the right thing to do? What was the best thing for my family? What was the best thing for me? I just couldn’t make a decision because I didn’t want to screw things up. I didn’t want to make the “wrong” choice.

Then tonight I happened upon a movie starring Nicholas Cage that I didn’t even know existed, World Trade Center, and suddenly everything became perfectly clear. There really is no “wrong” choice.

There’s only what’s best for me and my family and right now that’s spending less time in front of the computer and on the phones and more time with the family. It also means focusing on my health which could use a little fine tuning right now—weight loss, less stress, more social interaction.

So yes, I’ll keep the magazine online but I won’t be working it so hard. And yes, I’ll continue to freelance write, but I won’t sweat it so much if I don’t make x amount of dollars each month. And yes, I’ll make time for improving my photography skills and for learning new art techniques. And hubby promised me that within the next two years, we’ll be taking dance lessons together! Heck, I might even take a part-time job (if someone would just hire me!) so that I can get the heck out of the house and finally start meeting people. (I still cannot believe I’ve lived in this small town, in this state, for nearly four years and I only know my next door neighbor.)

Oh, and as for the film, World Trade Center…

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I cried like a baby throughout the entire film. It was that emotional, that realistic, and that powerful. Whether the facts are true or not, I don’t know. For all I know it was simply a film loosely based on real life facts, but oh did it have an impact on me tonight! The film concentrates on two individuals trapped under tons of rubble, fighting for dear life—and their families. As I watched this film, I couldn’t help but feel for everyone who lost someone that fatal day and freak out about the hundreds if not thousands of people that died—buried alive. And finally, I couldn’t help but think “That’s what’s really important. That’s all that really matters, right there. People.”

And by the way, it was so emotional for me that it’s now 6:15 in the morning and I still have not slept.

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In Love With Creativity

Friday, May 30th, 2008 by Alyice

It’s amazing how many times we tell ourselves, “I just don’t have enough time to…” and then buy into that statement instead of changing the way we think or the way we do things so that we have the time for the things that constantly beckon us. Maybe we’re afraid that we’ll change our lives to fit that one thing in and discover we liked the idea of that thing more than the actual doing. Maybe we’re afraid that the changes we make to make room for that thing will do more harm than good or maybe we’ve simply forgotten what it means to take care of “me.”

It’s easy to allow the pressures and busyness of everyday life to rob us of doing things that make us happy. And it’s easy to put our own needs on the backburner for the greater good of our children, our spouse, our relationships, our work, our business, and even our church. Heck, it’s even easy to allow preconceived notions of how things ought to be to rule over what should be. But it’s that kind of martyr-like thinking that can destroy us and everything around us.

We need time for ourselves. We need time to relax, to breathe, to think, and to do absolutely nothing. And we need time to do something for ourselves without guilt or shame or feelings of selfishness.

And that’s why I am in love with the idea of creativity!

Creativity is about stepping outside the obvious and using one’s imagination. It’s about letting go of the reality around you and taking pleasure in the impossibilities. It’s about being one with yourself instead of trying to be one hundred things to a hundred different people. And, for me, it’s about relaxation and meditation.

Whenever I feel stressed or overwhelmed, I now take a break and pick up a paint brush, some molding paste, and a recycled jar. I cannot tell you how relaxing it feels to simply be in the moment—to forget about time, duties, hurts, worries, and the hassles of everyday life and just be. Whether it’s five minutes or an hour, I just concentrate on the project at hand and when I’m done, I feel so much better.

Your creative muse may come in one of many forms: art, gardening, crocheting, sewing, woodworking, writing or even photography. My hope for you, today, is that as you think about the things that constantly beckon you, you’ll slow down long enough to make room for them, too.

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