Alyice on October 28th, 2009

Echo Challenge

I’ve been following Christy Hydeck’s blog for about a month or so, but for some reason I totally missed her new Echo Challenge or the poignant message that so resonated with my heart.

While I don’t suffer the same neurological illness as she, or completely understand what it’s like to live with such an illness, I do suffer from mild depression; and therefore can relate on many levels to what she says about finding herself “dwelling on the tendency to fold into myself…Pulling away, rather than towards people…” and concur wholeheartedly that “it can be a lonely state of mind to live in”.

It can be a worse place, however, when you find yourself living in a town that isn’t privy to making friends with outsiders. It has only added to the depression, causing extreme moments of loneliness and large drops in my self-esteem—despite the fact that I have a wonderful, loving, supportive husband and teenagers who still don’t mind spending a few hours a week with “mom”.

I suppose that’s why I spend a better part of my morning trying to connect with people via email and their blogs, facebook pages, and forums. And yet, even that can sometimes feel isolating and lonely. So when I read about the “Echo” challenge, I just had to take part.

As of right now I don’t have a diptychs partner, but perhaps one will surface—and if not, that’s okay because Christy and her partner, Susan, have created a group effort in which I can still be a part of the team.

The first challenge was to take a moment to reflect on the word “emerge” and then interpret the word through the lens of a camera. The quote used to share insight into the word was from Marcel Proust: “only through art can we emerge from ourselves and know what another person sees.”

As I pondered both the quote and the word, I remembered a photo I had taken of a prairie dog during our trip to the Reptile Gardens in Rapid City. As I watched him (or her) that day, I was in awe at how well his community played nice together—how they co-existed. And at the same time, I was inspired by how comfortable he was to go off by himself to explore, to rest, to eat, to play. There seemed to be a perfect balance between needing his community and needing to be alone.

And so, reflecting back upon that incident and the word “emerge” I am now realizing that the reason I’ve become so uncomfortable and annoyed with the isolation I feel—over the past four years of living here—is that I am ready to emerge. I am ready to grow and bloom and become something more than I currently am—and I don’t want to do it alone.

The second challenge was to reflect upon the word, “decorate” and of course, photograph something that resembles the word.

At first, I was bummed because our house isn’t decorated this year. Then I thought about the one and only time we attempted to bring our tradition of hosting a Halloween party to our new home and instantly, sadness and bitterness crept in as I was reminded, once again, how difficult it has been to make friends here—for both my daughter and I—and how much I miss going all out on Halloween or having others to socialize with.

But looking through the photographs and realizing just how much fun we had that day—despite the fact that nobody I invited showed up and only two girls from my daughter’s school showed up—reminded me that as long as I have my kids and my husband, all is right with the world.

It truly is in how you choose to see things.

So no more pity parties, no more regrets for moving here, and no more trying to change what obviously isn’t meant to be changed. I choose to emerge a happier, more joyous person this year. And I choose to decorate my home with memories of time spent with the relationships that have always brought me the greatest joy and blessings—my kids and my husband. And I will not let the current circumstances of my life steal any more of my energy or consume anymore of my time.

Keep Creating.

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Comments (7)

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{Echo} Week 1- Emerge Roundup « Art By Chrysti says:
[...] Alyice Edrich – Emerging from isolation [...]
Posted at 4:06 pm October 28th, 2009
Eren Mckay says:
Hi Alyice,
Reading your post brought tears to my eyes. You’re not alone. I decided to stay at home with my kids when they were little and really missed having an adult to talk to. I have my mom and friends that I talk to on the phone but I truly miss just seeing them, you know?
I love being around people and the isolation is something that I struggle with too. Finding real friends online has really helped me. I use Skype to talk with people. I absolutely love it.
Thanks for sharing,
All the best,
Eren

P.S. I l♥ve the prairie dog picture
.-= Eren Mckay´s last blog ..How to Bring and Experience God’s Presence in Worship =-.
Posted at 5:21 pm October 28th, 2009
Alyice says:
Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone. How old are your kids now? Do you still stay home? Did your isolation compound when you moved away or just when you stayed home?

When my kids were little, I stayed home, too. But I was active in church events, school functions, and the lives of my in-person friendships. Plus, we lived in an area that was booming with things to do like amusement parks, dinner theatres, nature walks, etc.

I used to think the big city made it easy to distance one’s self from others but it is so much easier to make friends and hang out buddies in the big city than a small town atmosphere.

I agree with you, seeing someone in person is so vitally important to our overall well-being. I didn’t realize how much I relied on phone conversations with my mom the first year and half that we lived here until she passed away and there were no more phone calls. I have a couple of friends that I talk to via the phone every few months, but it’s so not the same as having them right here to hang out with–even if it’s just a cup of java at the kitchen table.
Posted at 6:02 pm October 28th, 2009
Eren Mckay says:
My kids were born a year and six months apart from each other so when they were little I didn’t have a lot of time to feel lonely. But I still missed the adult interaction. I also taught my boys when they were little (homeschooled) so that kept me super busy. However, here in Brazil it’s illegal to homeschool school age children and not send them to school so now that they are 9, 10 and 12 years old they attend traditional school and have a lot of homework.

Maybe sometime we can “hang” and have a cup of coffee through Skype
It’s great meeting you – I’ve already subscribed to your RSS.

Blessings,
Eren
Posted at 7:57 pm October 28th, 2009
{Echo} Week 2- Decorate Roundup « Art By Chrysti says:
[...] Alyice Edrich [...]
Posted at 4:49 pm November 4th, 2009
Brenda Lynn says:
Love the Prairie Dog! I too can relate to isolation, though often it of my own doing. I’m in a very rural area of the midwest, so that too leads to feelings of isolation, especially when the locals have the mentality that if one’s family is not deeply rooted here, then you are and always will be an outsider. I suppose I accept it, as I’ve always felt “outside” the norm. Feel free to drop me a line just any ol’ time! Because, like was mentioned earlier. You are not alone.
.-= Brenda Lynn´s last blog .."Echo is the voice of the reflection in the mirror." ~Hawthorne =-.
Posted at 8:02 pm November 7th, 2009
Alyice says:
Thanks Brenda,

The irony is that I don’t mind being alone, but this is “too much” alone time.

When I lived in the city, in So Ca, I used to think they were distant because everybody tended to be more of acquaintances than close friends. But I tell you, I’d take that over this any day of the week! At least then if I wanted to get out the house and socialize, all it took was a phone call, signing up for an event, or doing a little charity work.

I’ll definitely have to keep in touch! I visited your blog and love the way you write.
Posted at 10:10 pm November 7th, 2009

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