Alyice on October 5th, 2009

Thanks For Giving Me A Family

You know that cliché about little girls dreaming of only one thing: being a housewife and mother? That was me. Oh sure, I had other dreams like starting my own missionary school or a homeless shelter complete with volunteer hairstylists, dentists, doctors, art instructors, and school teachers. But I never really had an “official” career dream. I knew I’d have a career, but it was the last thing on my mind. First and foremost, I wanted a family of my own.

Copyright 2009, Alyice Edrich
Scanned Image © Alyice Edrich, 1997
This is one of my favorite family photos, you can just see the joy!

I had grown up in the projects and seen a lot of dysfunctional families—mine included. I had seen men sexually abuse their children or their children’s friends. I had seen nice men turn into ugly monsters once they got drunk. I had seen women beaten so badly by the men in their lives…some to the brink of death. I watched as mothers bore more children simply because they didn’t want to get off Welfare. I watched mothers drink their nights away, hoping to escape the lives they lived—only to wake up the next day with a nasty hangover and a bad attitude. I watched as children were berated and belittled and made to feel not good enough—by their parents, by their siblings, and/or by their peers. I watched as families were destroyed.

And I knew there had to be something better.

Occasionally, I’d get a glimpse of “that something better”. A family would move into the projects, due to one circumstance or another, and stay just long enough to get back on their feet. These families seemed different. They hadn’t yet lost hope. They didn’t allow the circumstances of their lives to dictate who they were or how they lived and it showed. It showed in the way they communicated with each other, in how they kept their homes, in the way they walked and talked and dressed.

But most importantly, to me, is that they didn’t appear to be a bunch of strangers living under the same roof struggling to survive, they were family. They praised instead of condemned. They laughed more than they argued. They genuinely seemed to want to spend time with each other. And they treated others with respect and dignity.

And I knew I wanted something like that.

I wanted a family that wasn’t afraid of each other. I wanted a family without emotional or physical abuse. I wanted a group of people to be able to live under the same roof and actually like each other—actually want to spend time with each other and be willing to make that time for each other. I wanted to feel “the love” in my home.

And you know what? I am blessed enough to say that I got my dream. It hasn’t always been a bed of rose petals, but it sure has been worth plucking the thorns!

Give thanks…

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AlyiceEdrich.com
I'm a freelance writer, mixed media artist, SMVA, and the owner of The Dabbling Mum.

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