« Older Archive for May, 2009

Thanks For The Family

Monday, May 25th, 2009 by Alyice

I grew up in a rather dysfunctional family where I didn’t know if I was loved from one day to the next. I grew up feeling constant rejection and a tremendous amount of fear. I grew up constantly trying to prove my worthiness and beating myself up for the simplest of mistakes—mistakes that others would easily dismiss as the normalcy of life were things that I gnawed on for hours, days, even weeks, all the while wondering if I had said this or done that differently then…

Needless to say, my childhood dream was to marry Prince Charming and raise a family that was vastly different from my own. A family that, for the most part, was happy and content with each other and with life. A family that didn’t act ashamed to be around each other; that didn’t put each other down just to make themselves feel good; that didn’t make up lies and cover them up with half truths; that was for all intensive purposes not ashamed to be around each other.

I didn’t know if I’d ever get my fairytale ending, but I sure was hoping! Then one day, I met Prince Charming and my world got turned upside down. My life with Prince Charming hasn’t been all about sweet smelling roses as we’ve had our fair share of thorns along the way—some devastating, and some minor. But overall, I got my dream family.

And today, for the very first time in my life, I realize that they are all I really need in this life. There will be no more regrets about what could have been with my siblings, mother, aunts, uncles, or cousins. There will be no more beating myself up for not being good enough for them, for not being able to fit in, for not being able to do more to make things work with them. Today, I am finally going to let sleeping dogs lie. Because today I realized that everything I ever wanted in life has been right in front of me the entire time!

Family is what Prince Charming and I have with our children.

Family is about…

Loving someone unconditionally—even if they aren’t always loveable.
Showing love—even if you can’t always say it, you always try to show it.
Working, every day, towards building some type of relationship with the ones you love: a conversation, an activity together, a shared meal.
Giving space—allowing each other to have interests and hobbies outside the relationship and giving them the space to grow and be independent and different and unique.
Putting each other first—even if it means making a few personal sacrifices or prolonging a dream, want, or need. Making sacrifices for the good of the family—doing what is best not only for yourself but for those around you.
Forgiving each other—no matter how small or how large.
Accepting each other where they are right now, and not trying to change them—even when you think it’s in their best interest.
Challenging each other to be better people and not being afraid of losing that person for pushing too hard.
Fighting for what you believe in and allowing the others to fight right alongside you—even if the viewpoints are different and wavering.
Choosing your battles—allowing the other party to win once in awhile and choosing not to always make mountains out of molehills.
Never allowing time or the busyness of life the opportunity to destroy the relationships that matter most to you—even if it means putting aside your feelings of exhaustion as you spend time together.
Security—in knowing that no matter what life brings, what changes take place, or how many miles apart you live, you will always be there for each other and nobody, no job, no life experience, can take that away from you.
Being able to love yourself as you are—knowing that it’s the one place where you can safely be yourself. That you don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not in order to be accepted and feel loved.

If you, too, grew up wishing to feel loved and accepted for who you are, I am here to tell you that holding onto bad relationships isn’t going to make you happy; it’ll only make you miserable. Those relationships and all the energy you put into them will steal the joy from your life and suck you dry—leaving very little for those that truly do want you, value you, and think you matter. Listen, you cannot change people and you definitely cannot make them love you, want you, or respect you. All you can do is love yourself enough to find your own happiness; even if it means you have to do it without them or limit contact with them.

Give thanks…

Posted in It's Gratitude, Dude! | Comments Off

How To Create Wedding Name Art

Wednesday, May 20th, 2009 by Alyice

Earlier this month, my friend got married and I wanted to make her day extra special by putting together two gift packages: a bridal shower gift and a wedding gift.

For the bridal shower gift, I kept it rather simple. I filled a large box with token items that were purchased at local discount stores, then accompanied each item with a cute note. Some notes were sentimental while others were written purely for the laugh factor.

The wedding gift, however, needed to be much more special. It needed to be something that showed my friend how much I really wanted her marriage to work and how blessed I thought she and the groom were for finding each other. I started out by purchasing a few “marital” items at a Christian bookstore, then followed it up by digging through my art stash and creating several pieces of art that she could proudly display around her home: a mixed media canvas, an altered vase, and two framed pieces of art that memorialized their wedding day. I am happy to say that everything was a BIG success!

One of the framed pieces was so simple to make that I thought I’d tell you how to make it here. The key is to choose colors that will match the bride and groom’s new home so don’t be afraid to ask about color scheme.

Supplies you’ll need:

8×10 frame
2- 9 x 12, 90 lb. cold press watercolor paper
2- chipboard letters
Jewel-It® embellishing glue
Diamond Glaze® dimensional adhesive
Kamar Varnish – non-yellowing, acid-free spray varnish
Adhesive dots or raisers
Acrylic paints
Paint brushes
Rag

Steps:

Cut one sheet of paper down to 8×10.
Use acrylics to paint background. Start by quickly painting two main colors across the paper, in a swishing motion. Leave plenty of white space to fill in with other colors. Let dry.
Use secondary colors to fill in the white space, then using a damp rag, blend the colors together. Let dry.
On the second sheet of paper, choose colors that can stand out, yet complete the background paper colors. Color the entire paper and let dry.
Stamp various designs, in no particular order, across the second sheet of paper, and let dry.
Draw two birds (or other complimentary images) onto the second sheet of paper and cut them out.
Choose two letters that represent the beginning letter of the bride and the groom’s names. Paint the letters. Let dry.
Coat letters with a thin layer of Diamond Glaze®. Let dry.
Use Jewel-It® to glue the raisers onto the back of the birds. Let dry. (While most raisers come with self-adhesive tape, I have found that they do not hold after a long period of time.)
Place the birds and the letters onto the 8×10 paper. Play around until you position them so there is enough room to write out the bride and groom’s names.
Use Jewel-It® to glue the raisers on the birds onto the paper. Place a book on top of the birds to hold them down and in place. Let dry.
Use Jewel-It® to glue the letters to the paper. Place a book on top of the birds to hold them down and in place. Let dry.
Use black acrylic paint to write out the names.
Use black acrylic paint to create dashes across the bottom and one side of the paper, leaving room to write in the month and year that the couple tie the knot.
Let dry over night.
Spray with a light coat of varnish. Let dry for 48 hours.
Sign and place in frame.

My friend is very down-to-earth and enjoys folk-art. If, however, your friend prefers something more “classy” or “edgy”, don’t hesitate to switch things up a bit. You could use calligraphy to create the names, purchase smaller chipboard letters or brass letter plates for the rest of the name, and even embroider the names onto the paper itself. The key to creating successful “name art” is to think in terms of the person you are making the art for.

Keep Creating

Posted in Art How-Tos Wedding | 3 Comments »

Thanks for 18 Good Years

Monday, May 18th, 2009 by Alyice

Saturday my baby boy graduated from high school and officially became “a man”. It was a bitter-sweet moment in my life as it meant the end of an era, the end of nearly two decades of my life, and the end of him living at home. And yet, it was also a glorious time to celebrate all his life, his past accomplishments, and the man he’s destined to become.

I’ve grown rather attached to this young man and truly cannot see my life without him in it. Even now, I get choked up thinking about him going off to college and starting a life without me. And yet, I know it’s his right of passage and that he’ll be just fine.

I am truly proud of him and honored to have him in my life. He’s been a remarkably easy child to raise and even the hiccups during his teenage rebellious years were mild. There are so many things that I love and admire about him, but stating them publicly would only embarrass him so I’ll leave you with this quick summary: While he is quiet and reserved, he doesn’t allow others to negatively influence him, to bully him, or to treat him unkind. He stands up for what he believes in, understands the importance of balancing work and fun, is level-headed, and is refreshingly honest—even if we don’t like what we hear.

I cannot wait to see what he does with the rest of his life. I hope and pray that it’s filled with laughter, good health, and most of all, true happiness. I hope that the field of study he goes into is one that makes work fun and exciting, that he’ll find true friends along the way, and that he will always know love. Finally, I hope he knows how much his parents (and sister) truly love him and looks back upon his childhood years with fondness, sensitivity, and a healthy dose of nostalgia.

Give thanks…

Posted in It's Gratitude, Dude! | 3 Comments »

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I'm a mixed media artist and freelance writer. Need web content? Want to commission or license art? Let's Talk.

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