Alyice on November 18th, 2008
Over the years I have had many friends, some good, some bad. All of them have taught me something about myself, about life, and about the right and the wrong way to treat people. All of them have made me the person I am today and for that, I am grateful.
It’s been hard to let go of the good friends, especially when the things that pulled us apart were priority changes, distance, and job relocations. You’d think with modern technologies like email, blogs, text messaging, and cell phones, that we would have been able to find a way to stay connected—but sometimes, there just isn’t enough time in the day to keep the distance or busyness of life from deteriorating friendships.
I’ve always had a hard time letting go of the people I love—of watching them move on without me. Not because I was jealous or envious or wanted them to fail, but because I feared being abandoned; of being left behind. I used to personalize every termination—even if it wasn’t anyone’s fault.

My Friend Tina ~ Image © Alyice Edrich, 2008
Then I met someone who showed me what it means to be a friend that sticks around—through thick and thin, through ups and downs, through quarrels and squabbles, and through mood swing after mood swing. And for that, I’ll be forever and eternally grateful.
And that person is Ms. Tina L. Miller. We first met online, in a writers’ forum. Then, when it was time for my family to move out of state she helped my family find a home in her home state of Wisconsin. The ironic part is that while we had bonded, we still had personal guards up that sometimes made our friendship difficult to bare. But there was a connection there that could not be denied and slowly we learned to trust each other.
Over the next three and a half years we had coffee dates, picture-scouting dates, shopping dates, and brain-storming dates. We even got our families together for picnics, barbecues, and game nights. And soon, we became “family”.
It wasn’t always easy. There were times when we didn’t understand each other or each other’s motives. There were times that we pushed each other away instead of opening up and being real about our circumstances. But mostly, we learned to accept each other “as is”.
When my family moved out of the state five years ago I thought it would be the end of our friendship and I mourned that loss by putting up a wall. I tried to distance myself from her emotionally, but she saw right through me. She realized that I had abandonment issues and she fought through them.
She told me that long-distance friendships could work and to prove it she’s made it a priority to keep our friendship alive through phone calls, emails, letters, note cards, and personal visits. So when we do get in touch, like today, it feels like no time has passed at all, like we’re just next door.

The Engaged Couple ~ Image © Alyice Edrich, 2008
She genuinely seems to care about what is going on in my life and listens and talks and shares her life with me. There’s no prying. There’s no feeling like she’s holding back. There’s no feeling like I’m less than I am. There’s no need to try to be something I’m not. And I love it.
We talked on the phone for over an hour this evening and the time simply flew by. I loved every minute of it, and so did she. In fact, it made me wish May was here already—so I could watch her walk down the aisle with her husband-to-be. And, like her, it had me wishing we could be sitting under the tree in her yard sharing a cup of coffee and brainstorming about how we’re going to grow our businesses and what we’re going to do when the weather warms up.
Give thanks…
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