Alyice on February 13th, 2008

What Steals Creativity?

In December of 2007 I discovered that I was ready for a new adventure and that I no longer had the desire to spend my days hidden behind a computer screen with no social contact and no creative outlet. Writing had been good to me, but it was all I knew—that, and running the business side of things. I had spent so much time chasing after the next pay day that I had very little time to be creative for the sake of being creative.

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I wanted to finally grab hold of my creative side and make things happen with my photography and my art. But I soon discovered that I had pushed my creativity aside for so long that it had become stifled—smothered under the pressures of life and hidden even from me. Too afraid to venture out into a world of the unknown, too afraid to try and fail, to afraid to give myself creative license, too afraid to start over again—so afraid that I withdrew back into a familiar place; a place I spent years building.

Would I ever find the courage and determination to move forward with my plan? Or would I continue to allow life’s little obstacles to stifle my creativity? Those are questions that have plagued me over the last month and a half.

Every once in a while I would pop my head out from behind the computer screen to read an article, to study a technique, to try my hand at being creative, to dream about starting a new adventure. But those doubts and fears would creep right back in and I’d find myself withdrawing once again to that familiar place behind the computer screen.

What’s stopping me? I’d wondered. What’s preventing me from allowing the creativity to flow again?

I had every reason to believe that stress was the culprit; after all, I’d had nine years of very intense situations manifest themselves one after the other. And with a recent bout of Bell’s Palsy, stress had finally brought me to my breaking point.

But then I read a very interesting article by Douglas Eby about the psychological affects depression has on our creativity and it all clicked. So many deaths in such a short period of time, so many losses with each state-to-state move, so many life and business adjustments, it was more than stress. It was depression.

Life had taken its toll on my creativity and it is time I fight to get it back.

Today I resolve to get back in touch with my creative side by releasing myself from the bondage of stress and depression and committing to a minimum of one hour a day to being creative—or at least making an effort to be creative.

And who knows, maybe by making time to be creative with no expectations of selling the piece, no expectations of receiving rave reviews, and no expectations of liking the piece, I’ll find myself again. And in finding myself, I should be able to let go of the stress, the anxiety, and the depression that linger from time to time.

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Comments (2)

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Shari Lyle-Soffe says:
Alyce

You are so right. I have been battling the same problem and for the same reason. The loss of my mother was a terrible blow. Negativity from others contributed to a downward slide. Like you I have resolved to change all of that and get in touch with my creativity again.

Three books published is a lot to be thankful for. It’s time I remembered that.

Shari
Posted at 7:34 pm February 13th, 2008
Alyice says:
Shari,

So sorry to hear about your mom’s passing. It will be 2 years next month since my mom passed away and it still seems like yesterday.

Congratulations on your books. Three children’s books ARE a huge accomplishment. It’s so hard to get in print in that realm!

Keep me abreast your creativity…you’ll find me here, sharing mine as it happens.
Posted at 9:01 pm February 13th, 2008